Somebody call me a doctor,
Somebody bring me my pills,
I'm sweating like a green room beer
And I think I'm coming down with the chills,

This wasn't how it was supposed to be,
This wasn't how I envisioned it,
Back then I wouldn't have been caught dead,
You'd never catch me playing this shit,

"We Want You Dead or Alive," yeah we played that song,
So many goddamned times we stopped trying,
We started playing it backwards; called it "Alive or Dead,"
Turns out that song it wasn't lying,

Chorus:

I've got the Glam Rock Blues,
I'm gonna come down crashing,
Don't let me drown in my bathtub with my platform shoes,
My contract says I gotta live and it's binding,

My hair's been bleached so many goddamned times,
Can't remember what its real color is,
If the girls want to touch they'll get a free souvenir,
When it breaks off in their soft caress,

I need to get back to my roots,
Go back home and play guitar with old friends,
Back then you wouldn't have caught me dead,
Wearing any of this stupid shit,

I've got the Glam Rock Blues,
I'm as green as my custom guitar picks,
Like some robot I'll come tumbling down off these risers,
All fire, smoke, and hydraulics,

Bridge:
Back when I played what I wanted to I never put anything in my nose,
Back when I meant what I sang about I never needed any gold or rhinestones,

I've got the Glam Rock Blues,
I'm gonna come crashing down,
Back when I started you would never expect,
Me to put up with all of this shit,

(repeat main chorus)